Idyllic Nights

Finally decided to update my blog... but don't really have much to say...

 

Currently I'm in love with the following things:

- My beautiful, always accurate, very sharp and good looking Canon 450d camera.  It's by the far the best camera I've ever had.  Better than your Canon 400d, and better than your Nikon d60... :P

- Anything organic and natural, namely anything from Jurlique (I've tried the Biodynamic Beauty Treatment and the Purifying Foaming Cleanser and mum's using the rosewater mist and the mask, all amazing stuff), and also Juice Beauty Exfoliating Cleanser and Green Apple Mask.

- Bloom lip stain, beautiful colour, matches with my OPI Designer Series in Treasure.

- My Saba Steel Grey trench...

- And most importantly, all the photos my DBT and I took!  Amazing stuff... will post in facebook...

It's exactly 7.33am.  The train passes promptly on the tracks across the Southbank riverside towards Flinders Street station.  The morning sun on another ordinary Melbourne winter day shines through the hazy and cold morning breeze, making the skyscrapers along Southbank look strikingly beautiful.

 

A "Moving Melbourne through Art" poster on the wall in the train carriage reads "2050, the projector screen at someone's funeral reads 'No Signal'."  The author's name was right underneath but it was way too small to see clearly from where I was sitting.  Another reads "2050, autumn rain --- Victoria Park weeps of rust".  Then again, another: "2050, nursing home filled with senior citizens, with eyebrow piercings." 

 

Walking through the underground tunnels of the station towards Degraves Street, a busker is already busy playing with his guitar and singing loudly.  The same man I see every day.  Today I gave him a silver coin, but he did not say "thanks".  I honestly wanted to give him a gold one but I did not have any on me.  I heard him say "thanks" to the next kind contributor.  I decide not to give him anything any more next time.  Or am I just too narrow-minded?

 

An idyllic and uneventful morning one would imagine, but is it hiding something far more fearful beneath the surface? 

 

I read the news, I think about many tragic events and other's misfortunes, and I'm so glad that I have found you...

Went to work on Tuesday, farken tired and farken feels like I've been ripped off.  I suppose it's not easy, it's not work if you don't get stressed and tired at the end of the day.  But I mean I should deserve more money for my stress and tiredness and all the brain work I've contributed...

 

Oh well, this is probably just a stepping stone for me to get onto something better, so work hard and leave the best impression and try to learn as much as I can I guess.  Just like one of the guys from the interviews I went to, I should absorb information like a sponge. 

 

Anyway, after I get my first pay, I'm so gonna spoil myself and my parents, and if I have some money left still, I might get my bubsy something... hahaha...

Finally I found myself a somewhat decent job.  At least I'm working in an office, at least I'm doing design work so I don't have to feel sorry about wasting all those years I've spent in the past learning painting and drawing, and at least I can get a small regular income every week.  But deep down, I'm still not content.  It's not something I love, I love my IT studies, but where do I go to find somewhere that is not only a large organisation, but also gives good pay and doesn't mind employing someone with minimal experience?

 

I guess the problem is I haven't been searching for jobs for that long.  I hope to one day find the dream job that I've always wanted, so I can love my work and bring valuable ideas to the people around me.  These days I still feel inadequate, depressed, stressed and alone.  I look around me, I realised that I'm really just not that bright and I'm very behind in life.  What's the use of having theoretical knowledge when you can't use it to earn yourself money?  I'd rather be ignorant and dumb but earn big bucks, at least that way all you have to worry about is try to keep your job.  I don't think my life can get any more desolate than what I'm going through right now.

 

I tell myself, work harder, leave a good impression, and then use this job as a stepping stone to get onto something better.  But with the future seemingly so far away and so unpredictable, it is hard for me to not lose my motivation and hope that I will eventually become established and content with life.

 

Fingers crossed for me to get more interviews and better offers soon...

Still waiting for my second package from ebay... still waiting for replies from all the jobs I applied... still waiting... for many things...

 

But at least I got this today.

 

 

A very cute Ballet Slippers charm from Juicy Couture... I love it.