Finally I found myself a somewhat decent job.  At least I'm working in an office, at least I'm doing design work so I don't have to feel sorry about wasting all those years I've spent in the past learning painting and drawing, and at least I can get a small regular income every week.  But deep down, I'm still not content.  It's not something I love, I love my IT studies, but where do I go to find somewhere that is not only a large organisation, but also gives good pay and doesn't mind employing someone with minimal experience?

 

I guess the problem is I haven't been searching for jobs for that long.  I hope to one day find the dream job that I've always wanted, so I can love my work and bring valuable ideas to the people around me.  These days I still feel inadequate, depressed, stressed and alone.  I look around me, I realised that I'm really just not that bright and I'm very behind in life.  What's the use of having theoretical knowledge when you can't use it to earn yourself money?  I'd rather be ignorant and dumb but earn big bucks, at least that way all you have to worry about is try to keep your job.  I don't think my life can get any more desolate than what I'm going through right now.

 

I tell myself, work harder, leave a good impression, and then use this job as a stepping stone to get onto something better.  But with the future seemingly so far away and so unpredictable, it is hard for me to not lose my motivation and hope that I will eventually become established and content with life.

 

Fingers crossed for me to get more interviews and better offers soon...